What happened to the old you?
Do you ever stop and look in the mirror and wonder “what happened to the old me?”. Stop and reflect about the different versions of yourself from other the years. Wonder what path you would be on if you were still the same 26 year old you were.
I find it interesting that in the span of one lifetime we have lived thousands. And each life has evolved into the next one. Making adjustments, changes, different hairstyles, clothing and growing into the woman you are today.
I started thinking this while my kids have been on a spring break camping trip with their dad (it’s simply too cold for me to go and enjoy nature right now). While they have been gone I have been eating plant based meals, taking epsom salt baths, relaxing, exercising, going to bed early, not watching tv. I’ve turned their absence into a small wellness retreat for myself. And this got me thinking: If I lived as a young adult like I was living now, I would never have had to heal my body from the trauma I put it through.
It’s fascinating to reflect back on the mindsets and ideals that were held so high as a young adult, and how there has been consistent work to change, tweak, and improve those ideals. If I treated my body then like I do now there would have been WAY less sleepless nights, alcohol, drugs, fried chicken (I did go to college in Alabama).
But then, I look in the mirror and I see the sum of that lifetime and the lives in between reflected in and on my body. The scars, the fat and cellulite, the tattoos; and I feel proud of the journey this body has been on. Sure, there are things that I would like to look a little different. But she has come so far! And the respect I have for my vessel is so large. This vessel that survived, grew two healthy children, and repairs itself over and over again. Thank God for the lifecycle of a cell!
In the work I do with the women I coach this comes up all the time. “I’ve been on the diet hamster wheel my whole adult life. I wish I could love my body”. But here’s the thing. Here is my secret. You don’t have to love all of your body. You don’t even have to love parts of your body. But you DO have to respect your body, the journey, and the lives your body has lived.
We don’t have the same body decade from decade, or even month to month. When we are able to adopt this mindset of respect and honor then we can start working on the love part. Don’t get confused by a culture of toxic positivity. Do wrap your head around the lives you you have lived, the people you have been, and how they are all part of who you are today. They are your body today: the trauma and the love.
